


Simon, the drunk stranger

by mckvch (RaiseYourVoice)



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting, Alternate Universe - Human, Asexual Raphael Santiago, Awkwardness, Drunk Simon, Drunken Flirting, First Kiss, Heartbreak, Kind of depressed Simon, M/M, Pansexual Simon Lewis, Pining, Raphael is a softie, Simon is a Mess, club owner Magnus
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-30
Updated: 2017-06-30
Packaged: 2018-11-21 15:09:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,407
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11359977
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RaiseYourVoice/pseuds/mckvch
Summary: And today...today Simon was sitting in a small club - owned by Alec’s boyfriend Magnus - and considered drinking his body weight in alcohol just for the fun of it. Because today he had gotten his sister’s wedding invitation and instead of being able to feel happy for her, all he could do was feel bitter, lonely and unloved while everyone around him seemed oh-so-in-love and happily in relationships.One would think that the fact that he was pansexual, still a quite new identity because two years didn't feel like such a long time in perspective, that it would kind of make things easier when it came to finding someone but Simon’s heart was a dirty traitor and chose to cling to one person. Maybe he would never be able to let go of Clary Fray and would spend eternity pining after her. And maybe he was just drunk, with his mind running in circles and coming up with even more depressing thoughts.





	Simon, the drunk stranger

**Author's Note:**

> For some reason, I felt like writing something Climon!breakup-related and so this AU happened. It got a little out of hand and longer than intended; it also sounded better in my head but this seems to happen every once in a while and clearly doesn't keep me from posting it anyway.

To say that Simon’s love life was a mess, was an understatement. Okay,  _technically_ , there wasn’t even an actual love life, to begin with. It was probably more accurate to say that his emotional entanglements were a mess - and that was putting it pretty lightly. The fact that the people around him seemed to have quite the mess going on didn’t help him feel better about himself, though.

Remember the always friendzoned best friend of the protagonist in many YA novels? _That_ was him. He was the best friend. The one banished into the friendzone but unable to accept that fact, always searching for a loophole that explained why Clary had yet to declare her undying love for him, why she was swooning over this guy here and months later this other guy over there. He simply had to wait for her to _see_ him, or that’s what he had always told himself.

Simon had swallowed every painful stab to his chest whenever Clary mention what an awesome best friend he was, whenever she kissed his cheek or forehead instead of his mouth; when she told him about her newest crush or asked him for advice what to wear on her next date. It was okay because he had been convinced that it simply wasn’t his time yet but that it would come, that she would realise she loved him just as much as he loved her.

He went to prom when they finished middle-school with Maureen, managed to get shitfaced from the cliché spiked punch after seeing Clary kiss her prom date and woke up next to Maureen with the hangover of a lifetime plus the knowledge that his band member had feelings for him that he had been unable to reciprocate. Being the awkward idiot that he was, Simon ended up dating her for a few months because he had missed the chance of informing her that it had been a drunk one-night-stand, that he wasn’t into her, but he had been terrified of hurting her and broke her heart even more in the process.

That had been his first relationship and his first time having sex - it had been a great start for more mistakes and awkwardness to follow.

Then, a few years later during college, Jace happened and part of Simon still wished they had never met this guy because he was convinced that the mess of epic proportions wouldn’t have happened otherwise. Said mess, not just for Simon but everyone involved, had been the emotional depiction of the snowball effect.

Simon had been in love with Clary since forever. Clary then fell for Jace ”Douchebag McGoldenboy” Whatever-his-last-name-was. Jace seemingly felt the same about her but had some childhood trauma or other repressed shit going on so that there were a lot of mixed feelings. Then they got to know two of Jace’s three siblings, Alec and Izzy, the latter becoming Clary’s second best friend over the course of half a year and, voila, there happened Clary’s sexual crisis. Because, of course, she started to develop feelings for the new, wrong BFF during the whole drama with Jace.

That had only been half of the drama, though, because at that time Izzy had been dating someone called Meliorn - Simon had never met them - and wasn’t available anyway. While Clary was torn between two people she couldn't have, one for obvious reasons and the other for reasons unknown, Simon was inwardly screaming “I’m right here” because, yes, he had been stupid and unwilling to see it wasn’t happening. He kind of ended up going on a few dates with Maia, a girl working in the club they had encountered Jace for the first time, but she quickly realised his heart was with someone else and told him to make up his mind about who or what he wanted.

So Simon had been back to square one, with the only difference that his time suddenly seemed to be happening. Jace started going out with Maia - Simon still didn’t understand how _that_ even happened because those two seemed to hate each other - and Clary started gravitating towards him, finally. He ignored the voice in the back of his mind that he was merely the consolation prize because both of Clary’s love interests weren’t available and jumped at the first suggestion of going on a date with her.

They actually started dating for a few weeks but all of that went to shit when Izzy and Meliorn ended things, resulting in something happening between her and Clary so that the latter finally broke up with Simon after not even two months of dating. That had been three weeks ago and he still felt like his heart was bleeding out in his chest.

The biggest irony of it was that just yesterday Simon had heard that Jace was apparently now with Meliorn and he honestly started to wonder how everyone in this mess came out of it in a seemingly happy relationship while he remained the odd one out, the one that nobody wanted and who got his heart broken. Maybe he had deserved all of this for not accepting the fact that he and Clary were never meant to be but that didn't make it hurt any less.

And today...today Simon was sitting in a small club - owned by Alec’s boyfriend Magnus - and considered drinking his body weight in alcohol just for the fun of it. Because today he had gotten his sister’s wedding invitation and instead of being able to feel happy for her, all he could do was feel bitter, lonely and unloved while everyone around him seemed oh-so-in-love and happily in relationships.

One would think that the fact that he was pansexual, still a quite new identity because two years didn't feel like such a long time in perspective, that it would kind of make things easier when it came to finding someone but Simon’s heart was a dirty traitor and chose to cling to one person. Maybe he would never be able to let go of Clary Fray and would spend eternity pining after her. And maybe he was just drunk, with his mind running in circles and coming up with even more depressing thoughts.

“Another one,” he muttered and lightly pushed his empty glass across the counter with his fingertips to where he could see the bartender from the corner of his eyes. When he had sat down at the bar, Magnus had been the one to serve the customers and Simon was fairly sure the glittery guy was still around but he was too preoccupied wallowing in self-pity to actually look up and confirm that assumption.

When the filled glass was placed back in front of him, Simon took a big gulp of it and then spluttered when the bland taste of regular tap water hit his tongue. He almost spat it back out, startled by the unexpected taste - or lack thereof, to be more precise - and raised his head fast enough to feel momentarily dizzy.

“What the fu--” Simon snapped his mouth shut before he could end the exclamation, his voice laced with annoyance but abruptly stopping when his eyes found the person responsible for this unfunny joke. Said person was probably the prettiest man he had ever laid eyes on and maybe the alcohol was to blame for that but Simon was fairly sure that this guy was incredibly gorgeous even to the sober eye.

The dark eyes boring into his revealed a glint of amusement, full lips curled into the faintest hint of a smirk and Simon felt tempted to reach out and bury his fingers in the loosely styled mess of curls on top of the man’s head but he was almost positive that such an action wouldn't be very appreciated.

“I didn’t want a damn water,” Simon pointed out when he finally remembered what was going on and he was able to use his voice again after basically being slapped in the face with the guy’s beauty. Why did he always end up somewhere with good-looking people? His group of friends was already terribly attractive and Simon would appreciate not to feel like the ugly duckling for at least once in his life. Maybe that was the reason he was still single? Because he was constantly surrounded by people who were way out of his league. Now, that sounded painfully logical…

“I’m aware of that but it seems like you’ve had enough alcohol for tonight,” the other replied and Simon melted a little bit inside at the sound of this sinfully deep, smooth voice. Was this man even real? Was he so intoxicated already that he started hallucinating some hot dude?

“How about you leave that decision to me? And I decide that I didn’t have enough!” Simon pouted at the man, not caring that this behaviour probably wouldn’t get him another glass of whatever mix-drink he had been consuming this whole time. Maybe the fact that he didn’t even remember that should be a sign to actually listen to Mister Insultingly Handsome and stop drinking but Simon had decided to drink until he didn’t feel miserable anymore which clearly wasn’t nearly the case right now.

“Well, then good luck getting more booze because you won’t get it from me.”

Simon glared at the guy with a frown, opening his mouth to protest but apparently his brain and mouth weren’t cooperating so instead of telling the man to do his damn job, he blurted out a “What’s your name?” and it was like both of them froze for a nanosecond.

“Why would I tell some drunk weirdo my name?” The man finally answered, resting his lower arms on top of the bar and Simon wondered if the funny feeling in his stomach was due to the alcohol or due to the uncalled urge to reach out for the guy and taste his plush looking mouth.

“Because otherwise, this weirdo will complain to your boss that you’re not doing your job. You get paid for serving booze!”

“There’s a tiny fault in your plan, though: Magnus isn’t my boss and even if he were, I’m sure he’d agree that you’ve had enough.”

Simon sighed in frustration, pulling his fingers through his hair and his mind immediately looped back to the thought that it had been stupid to ask anyway because why would a guy like this want to tell him anything? God, instead of making him forget about his self-worth issues, the alcohol only seemed to enhance the feeling of being very attractive. Simon’s shoulders slumped and he turned around, wordlessly admitting defeat and deciding that hiding away in his apartment for a few days was probably a better idea than this constant reminder of his inability to be even remotely interesting for other people.

“Raphael.”

He frowned and turned around, his butt barely still touching the barstool and it was kind of a miracle he managed to balance there without slipping off completely, his finger pressing into the soft cushion of the seating surface. “What?”

“It’s my name. Raphael,” the gorgeous man said and he pushed the glass with water across the counter in a silent prompt for Simon to drink some more, his lips now showing an actual smile instead of an almost condescending smirk like before.

“That’s a nice name,” Simon muttered and before his mind had decided on whether to stay or to leave, his body had already moved back onto the stool and faced Raphael again, his fingertips gingerly brushing a droplet of condensation from the glass, “it’s a pretty name for a pretty person.”

He had not meant to say this part out loud. _Thank you, brain to mouth filter._

“Are you going to tell me your name as well?” Raphael inquired, gracefully overlooking his awkward comment but his expression looked more amused than bothered by it, fortunately.

“Lewis. Simon. Simon Lewis,” he actually stammered and for some reason wanted to offer his hand to Raphael - it was the polite thing to do when introducing yourself, okay? - but ended up knocking over the glass of water, spilling its content all over the counter and, of course, his own pants. “Shit, sorry.”

Simon almost missed Raphael rolling his eyes with barely hidden amusement and then the other reached for a towel behind the bar, using it to soak up the water and offering a second one to Simon whose brain was positively giving up on him now because he seriously declined with a “Thanks but I’m good.”

“If you prefer having wet pants,” Raphael shrugged and Simon couldn’t stop the giggle bubbling up in his throat, causing the other to look at him with a frown.

“Sounded like an innuendo. Sadly _that_ ’s not the reason why my pants are wet, even though you are incredibly hot and would probably easily manage to--Wait, am I saying this out loud??”

Raphael’s slightly pained expression was already answer enough and Simon’s eyes widened while his already flushed cheeks grew even hotter from embarrassment. The other was right, he should definitely stop with the alcohol for today because this was going downhill _fast_. Simon finally grabbed the towel that was still loosely dangling from Raphael’s fingers, pressing it against the wetness of his pants to soak up at least a little bit of the spilt water while simultaneously wishing it would be possible to soak up himself as well - the human body consisted mostly of water, anyway, so there was a sliver of hope for that to happen, right?

“Sorry, guess I’m kinda drunk,” he finally mumbled, intently staring at the towel ironically pressed against his crotch and Simon inwardly cringed at this whole situation. _This_ was his life in a nutshell - love life and the rest crammed together into one impossibly embarrassing moment.

“No shit--” Raphael replied while placing a newly filled glass of water in front of him instead of just walking away from the mess that was a drunk Simon Lewis - not that he was any less of a mess when he was sober-- “that’s why you should drink the water, genius.”

Simon blinked and carefully looked up at the other through the slightly smudged glass of his spectacles, wondering why on earth Raphael was still even talking to him despite the fact that Simon’s earlier comment had clearly made him uncomfortable. _Probably straight_ , his fuzzy brain provided bitterly and Simon barely swallowed the frustrated sigh rising in his throat. Not that he would expect this to go anywhere even if the other wasn’t straight - he could very well just be a gay/bi/pan/anythingelse-guy with good taste in men. Another stupid drunken thought process that would get Simon nowhere.

“You’re right. Thanks.” Simon grinned sheepishly and kept the towel in his lap, tentatively wrapping his fingers around the glass this time, not wanting to knock it over a second time, before gulping down half of the water in one go and hoping for it to clear his intoxicated mind at least a tiny bit. Enough to stop making an even greater fool out of himself, at least.

“Wait, did you say Magnus isn’t your boss?” Simon suddenly remembered when he put the glass back down while his eyes followed Raphael’s movements when the other reached for another glass to fill it with water, taking a sip of it himself. It was kind of odd, sitting at a bar yet both of them were drinking water. Though, seeing as Raphael was obviously working it was only logical for him to not consume alcohol. Some people were professional and took their job seriously, after all.

“That was a good ten minutes ago but, yeah, that’s correct. I’m not actually working here,” Raphael replied as if it was the most obvious thing in the world and not a terribly confusing thing to say for Simon’s poor brain.

“Then why are you behind the bar and giving out drinks?”

“Handing you a glass of water hardly counts as _giving out drinks_ and I’m only here because Magnus had to take a phone call. I’m only watching the bar until he’s back.”

The explanation sounded logical enough. “What if someone orders a cocktail?”

“Then they’ll get their cocktail,” Raphael shrugged nonchalantly, clearly not fazed.

“Even if it’s a complicated one?” Simon was the master of stupid conversational topics but at least this time he could blame it on the alcohol.

“My best friend owns a bar; I know how to mix cocktails,” the other sighed and probably felt like he was talking to a five-year-old which wasn’t too far off the mark when it came to Simon’s current mental age.

“Magnus Bane is your best friend? Why am I not even surprised,” Simon replied with slightly widened eyes and it really was like all these beautiful people were flocking together, one more gorgeous than the other, even if Raphael’s personality seemed to be quite the opposite of Magnus’s, as far as Simon was able to tell.

“Sounds like you know Magnus?” Raphael inquired and his expression clearly stated the unspoken “I have never heard about you”. Simon tried to ignore the slight pang he felt despite not being friends with Magnus so, of course, the guy never talked about him but it seemed like lately everything felt like proof of how insignificant he was.

“Yeah, well, I kind of barely know his boyfriend? My best friend had a thing for Alec’s brother Jace a while ago and now she’s going out with Izzy,” Simon explained with a listless hand gesture, not really in the mood to revisit this emotional clusterfuck because he was here to forget about this mess, not explain it to some handsome stranger.

“Oh, yeah, I’ve heard about _that_ ,” the other man commented and grimaced a little bit, indicating that he probably heard more than just a tiny bit about this. At least that meant Simon didn’t have to go into more detail but his hope of getting away from this topic was crushed pretty quickly with Raphael’s next question. “So, what caused you to spend your night alone in a bar? Seems like a thing someone who’s trying to drown his sorrows would be doing and I probably don’t have to point out that alcohol is never a solution.”

Simon was tempted to smack his head against the bar, maybe often enough to pass out and finally get away from everything. He didn’t feel like fulfilling the cliché of drunkenly pouring his heart out to the bartender - even if, technically, Raphael wasn’t the bartender but there was no reason to be nitpicky about it.

“Yeah, something like that,” Simon offered, not wanting to be completely rude by not answering at all after Raphael had tolerated his moronic ass for over 15 minutes already. The guy would totally make a good stereotypical bartender, listening to drunken idiots whining about their life with a patience that nobody should possess in this line of work.

“The best friend I mentioned? I was dating her for a little while until she got together with Izzy. She broke up with me a few weeks ago,” he suddenly heard himself add after a brief silence and Simon wasn’t sure if the alcohol in his blood was to blame for this, his usual inability to shut up or the calm expression in Raphael’s dark eyes that were focused on him, emitting the feeling that the other was genuinely interested in his story instead of merely asking out of politeness.

“Did it help against the heartbreak?” Raphael asked with a lazy gesture towards the bar as a whole before his gaze swept towards the door behind him when it opened and a smiling Magnus stepped out of it, pocketing his phone. Simon knew the other was already aware of the answer to this question but he still felt weirdly disappointed that Raphael’s attention had left him now and he silently reached for his glass, gulping down the rest of the water that didn’t seem to do a whole lot against his muddled mind so far.

Simon opened his mouth and was about to thank Raphael for the water before saying his goodbyes but the other currently had his head tilted towards Magnus who was speaking to him. He decided not to disturb the two friends, figuring that it didn’t make a difference anyway before pushing a dollar bill onto the counter for the water and slipping off the barstool.

His legs felt like Jell-O and a short wave of dizziness washed over him but Simon pushed through it and grabbed his hoodie from the other stool next to his, not paying attention to the towel falling from his lap to the floor when he walked towards the door. He should go home, get some rest and hopefully, everything looked less bleak in the morning.

The cool night air hit his face simultaneously to a warm hand wrapping around his elbow, preventing him from hitting his shoulder on the doorframe and causing goosebumps on his skin. Simon turned around too quickly, stumbling over his own feet a little but the lingering hand on his arm steadied him with impressive ease.

“Can I offer you a ride home?”

Simon blinked slowly, his brain trying to catch up with the fact that Raphael had followed him outside and apparently wanted to accompany him home. He wondered if there were any questionable intentions behind this offer but remembering Raphael’s reactions to his very blatant, albeit accidental, come-on kind of eliminated that option.

“You don’t have to. Really, get back inside to your friend, I’ll be fine.” Simon nodded towards the door but Raphael was clearly having none of that, shaking his head no.

“I wanted to leave since half an hour ago anyway and I insist on taking you home. You’re drunk and clearly not in the best mindset so...I’d feel better knowing you got home safely,” Raphael replied with the tiniest hint of a smile in the corners of his mouth and Simon had no idea which part of him thought it was a good idea to suddenly surge forward and crash his mouth against the other’s.

Maybe it was just the fact that someone actively seemed to care about his wellbeing which seemed like the best thing that had happened to Simon in days, mixed with the fact that Raphael was breathtakingly beautiful and with a certain gentleness underlying his initial gruff seeming demeanour. Still, that was no excuse for kissing a stranger out of nowhere, a stranger who had been inexplicably nice to him up until this point but he wouldn’t be Simon Lewis if he didn’t manage to fuck this up as well. Like he did with everything else in his life.

“Shit, I shouldn't have--” Simon jumped back as soon as he managed to get his body to move again, staring at the frozen Raphael with wide eyes and his own thundering heartbeat in his ears. _Great_. “I didn’t mean to--I’ll better head ho--”

“My car is this way,” Raphael interrupted with a huff and tugged the other man towards the direction of the club’s parking lot, to Simon’s utter confusion.

“You still want to drive me home? Even after I just kissed you?” Simon’s cheeks burned with shame due to his own actions and every fibre in his body told him to not inconvenience Raphael even more but he found himself incapable of breaking the other’s strong yet gentle hold on his elbow.

“Believe me, I noticed. You’re drunk and clearly don’t know what you’re doing but that’s no reason to leave you to your own devices like this,” Raphael sighed and Simon caught the way he absently licked his bottom lip, wondering if it was because he still felt the ghost of the brief kiss. “I’m not into kissing strangers - or being kissed by them, for that matter -, especially not when they’re drunk and it’s an act fuelled by heartbreak.”

“You know my name, I’m not that much of a stranger!” Simon barely registered his brain shouting at him to _shut up_ , pleading with him to not risk making this situation worse. It was bordering on a miracle that Raphael was still around as it was.

“I prefer to know a little bit more about a person than just their name before I decide if I want to kiss them.”

“Well, I would ask you out but you didn’t seem too fond of my other comments earlier so I figured you might not be into the male variety of strangers anyway,” Simon’s mouth kept on doing its own thing, disregarding every instruction from his hazy brain.

Raphael had the audacity to chuckle at this, stopping next to a car that was presumably his because he pulled a key from the pocket of his leather jacket. “Sorry to disappoint, then, but the _male variety_ is the only one I’m into.”

“I’m not disappointed at all! No disappointment here. Or judgement, obviously. Just...confusion?”

“Maybe you should ask me out, then. You could possibly get to know the reason why I reacted the way I did to your terrible flirting - even if it feels wrong calling it that - but I’m not going to offer more information about myself to _Simon, the drunk stranger_.”

“Fair enough,” he muttered and almost hit his head when Raphael unlocked the car and pulled the passenger door open for Simon to climb inside first. “But...that means you’ll go out with me? Even though I’m terrible?”

“Not terrible enough to scare me away, it seems. Now, tell me where to and if you’re a good boy I’ll give you my number so you can decide if you actually want to go out once you’re sober,” Raphael said with an eye roll that almost seemed a little bit fond but maybe that was just Simon’s imagination. Maybe all of this was only happening in his imagination? That would make a whole lot more sense than not-barkeeper Raphael taking care of him, dealing with him being a drunk mess.

 

Simon was beyond surprised when the events of this evening turned out to be very much real and even the terrible hangover couldn’t keep him from smiling genuinely for the first time in weeks upon waking up to an unread message on his phone.

**Rafael**  
_By the way, I’m spelt with ph._


End file.
